Safety
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: What if Greg rapes Regina and she's not the same, she's scared and she doesn't like people touching her. Emma notices this and she won't give up on Regina. Till Regina tells her and Emma is there for her - Regina fan TW for allusions to rape. This fic is quite dark in places. Pre-SQ.


_What if Greg rapes Regina and she's not the same, she's scared and she doesn't like people touching her. Emma notices this and she won't give up on Regina. Till Regina tells her and Emma is there for her - Regina fan_

_Thanks for the prompt. There are no graphic descriptions of it but TW for rape all the same because it is mentioned and this fic is a bit dark in places. Slight SQ but definitely pre-SQ. _

_Apologies for any mistakes. I don't own Once or its characters. _

No-one realises at first. No-one notices the truth of what happened to Regina. When Snow, Charming and Emma rescued her she was unconscious and unresponsive and so they could not ask. When they were finally able to she would not tell them.

She wanted to but then her fear kicked in. Looking up at all their inquiring faces she found she could not answer. There were too many of them. Too many people. Too many who could hurt her. She dares not tell them. What if they blame her? Or tell her she deserved it? What if it they think it some kind of perverse justice?

She stares up at their faces and panic takes over. She cannot tell them. Even if they don't blame here they'll pity her and she can't deal with that.

Telling them will mean it happened. An admission makes it all the more real and she can't. She can't think about it, won't think about it, not even when her mind screams with the images left behind.

She shakes her head at them as she begins to hyperventilate. They don't ask after that.

When she screams at the doctors and nurses not to touch her they all assume it's because of the electroshock and wind up having to sedate her so they can treat her. They all think they know where her fear comes from.

No-one suspects the truth.

* * *

It's on the boat to Neverland that the nightmares begin.

After being released she had to go straight to the mines to disarm the trigger. Her mind did not have a chance to slow down and she let herself forget thinking that soon it would all be over.

Then Emma stepped in and she helped. The combination of their magic was enough to save the trigger and save everyone. For the first time since it happened Regina lets herself breathe and feel happy. She lets herself bask in the knowledge that she can do good and be a hero.

Then David touches her arm, she flinches and she's back there.

They don't notice her panic and when they do they think it's all because of what happened to Henry. None of them notice the way she trembles or the way she tries to keep their distance.

In Neverland once the ship starts sailing they all have time to sit and process.

For Emma, Snow, Charming and Rumple it means processing what happened to Henry, of how the town has been saved and how they will rescue Henry. It means thinking of Neverland and bonding together.

For Regina it means terror that he has her son; dread that she failed to protect him and a flood of memories she can't escape.

Whilst the rest of them sleep so they can be well rested for the fight to save Henry, Regina manages five minutes of sleep before the nightmares shake her so badly she winds up throwing up over the side of the ship and sobbing on the deck.

She can't make them stop.

She couldn't make him stop.

The terror floods through her again as she sobs. She can't stop picturing what happened or the feel of his breath on her cheek.

She tries to make the memories stop. She needs to be strong but she finds she can't.

She sits and cries through the night until morning comes and she puts up an impassive mask telling herself not to show weakness, not to let them know.

* * *

It's Emma who notices the change in Regina.

Since her kidnapping and torture Emma has been keeping an eye on her. She had been before anyway given how worried and scared she was for Regina. Whilst she has never admitted it out loud somewhere along the past two years she fell in love with the brunette.

She kicked herself for failing to protect Henry's other mother. The whole time she was terrified that she would lose Regina. Then they found her but that cold feeling of dread never left. She could see something was different, that there was something that Regina wasn't telling them.

She wasn't sure but then she noticed how Regina had stopped sleeping, how she had become jumpy whenever any of them got too close to her and the fear in expressive caramel eyes.

It pains her to see Regina so hurt.

She wishes she knew what was wrong and how to make it better.

What terrifies her most is that she might not ever be able to.

* * *

She hates Neverland.

Every night Regina hears crying and screaming and the sounds take her right back there. Every night she wakes thrashing and sobbing praying no-one else will notice. No-one ever asks though she can see the worry in their eyes.

They've tried to ask if she's okay but she simply snaps that she's fine and stays away. What's clear to them all is that she seems more panicked the closer they are.

* * *

On the night that they hear what happened to Greg, Regina couldn't help but smile knowing he was gone and could not harm her no more, Regina had hoped she would pass through the night unscathed. But the second she closed her eyes there he was.

She wakes with a terrified scream panting and struggling to remind herself that he is gone, that he can't hurt her again.

Once her breathing calms down she notices the rest of them staring at her, their eyes burning into her and the panic rises again. As her chest heaves with frightened breaths she gets up and runs into the forest. When she hears footsteps behind her she runs faster thinking immediately of danger, of someone out to catch her and hurt her.

She runs until the tears cloud her vision so much that she stumbles and trips. The footsteps are coming closer and she scrambles through the dirt and branches so she can get away. The sticks and gravel cut into her palms and knees but she doesn't care. The sounds of the forest keep morphing into those of the cannery. The footsteps are his. The pain is too real and she can feel the terror running through her. She can't breathe.

A hand touches her arm and she screams. She screams until the hand pulls away and the figure moves to sit across from her instead.

"Regina?" the voice asks worriedly and it isn't him. _It's not him. Not him. Not him._ She takes a deep breath to try and calm herself as her vision clears to reveal Emma. _Just Emma. Emma's safe. You're safe. _With Emma she feels safest. She knows Emma won't hurt her. Emma saved her.

"Regina?" Emma asks again in a soft voice.

Regina cowers away from her, her knees drawn tight against her chest. Emma watches as the other woman tries to calm her breathing, the panic dancing in her eyes. She thinks back. The nightmares, the terror of being touched, the keeping her distance. She suspects she knows what's going on. She hopes she's wrong.

She's terrified she isn't.

Emma scooches closer but stops instantly upon he quiet panicked "No" that comes from Regina.

"Okay, okay I'm going to be right over here. I won't come closer alright?"

"Alright" Regina repeats finally looking up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Emma frowns, her heart breaking at the frantic apologies, "What for Regina? You have nothing to apologise for."

"You need me to be strong but I'm not. I'm not. I'm just broken." Regina sobs.

Emma tilts her head to the side as she looks at the trembling brunette. "Regina, you're not broken. And you may think you're not strong but you are. I don't know what happened to you but you're still here and trying to be brave because we need to find Henry. You're strong and you're not alone okay? I'm going to be right here. If you need me I'll be here."

"I can't" Regina says.

"Huh?"

"I can't" Regina repeats shaking her head, "I can't tell."

"Okay. That's okay. You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do, but never doubt that you're not strong because you are the strongest person I know."

Regina smiles half-heartedly wishing she believed in herself as much as Emma believes in her. "Thank you"

Emma smiles, "That's okay. I meant what I said. If you need me"

"You'll be there."

"Yep. Do you want to go back to camp now?"

"No." Regina says straightaway.

For the next hour they sit in silence as Regina cries about what happened to her. She doesn't say exactly what happened. She doesn't give details. She just lets herself cry as Emma whispers reassurances to her across the forest floor.

* * *

They save Henry and Regina lets herself feel safe and happy again. Her son is back and he's safe. She hugs him with Emma, allowing the three way hug. It was the first time she's let anyone touch her since it happened. This feels safe. This feels like she might be okay, that she's a part of something good.

She clings to Henry spending the night camped out on his floor. She has to make sure he won't disappear again, that he won't be taken from her once more.

Emma sits outside the door of the room watching over the pair to keep them safe. Regina won't tell her what happened but she walks a little closer to her. When she has nightmares its Emma she wakes up. She may not be able to tell her but Emma knows Regina trusts her to keep her safe and she's not going to let her down.

She wishes she could help Regina more. She sees how terrified the brunette is, how she shies away from contact. She saw how the woman began to panic surrounded by so many people until she and Henry disappeared below deck.

Knowing her son is above her and Emma is just outside, for the first time since it happened, Regina manages to sleep through the night.

* * *

The next day they arrive in Storybrooke and Regina thinks she just might be sick. Her sense of safety flies right out of the window as she sees where they've landed.

The sight of cannery makes her feel cold and clammy. She steps back until she hits the edge of the Jolly Roger. She sinks down to the ground as the memories assault her mind once more.

"No. No. No. No. No." She murmurs to herself as that building looms before her. She can feel her chest tighten as she panics and her breathing comes out in sharp pants. She can't escape, never able to escape.

It's right there.

She remembers waking up in the cold.

She hears the crackle of electricity mingle with the waves.

She feels the weight of bindings trapping her wrists and legs to the table and the eerie stickiness of those electrodes.

She starts to thrash as she pictures him climbing over her, taunting her as his breath tickled her skin. "No" she whimpers again kicking her legs out against the imagined but all too real demon.

It's Emma who notices that Regina is not getting off the boat with the rest of them. She sees Regina in the throes of a panic attack as she fights against an invisible attacker. "Henry get on the pier" she instructs doubling back to Regina.

_Oh no_ she thinks as she sees Hook cautiously approaching the terrified queen. She can see his worry as he asks "Are you alright love?"

His question only makes Regina try and tuck herself closer into the wall. Emma runs across the ship as she sees Hook about to move and try to comfort her. Neverland has taught her how to comfort Regina and he does not know how. All he'll do is make things worse. "Don't touch her!" she shouts too late. Hook looks up as he reaches for Regina's shoulder.

The seated woman screams, the sound echoing around the boat and down to the pier causing a few people to come running up. Emma skids in front of Regina shielding her from view, "Okay look all of you off."

"It's my ship" Hook protests.

"I know. Just get off. Okay. Just go to Granny's and I'll meet you there later."

Her parents look at her and Regina in concern. Henry looks utterly terrified and she crosses over to her son, "It'll be okay kid. Trust me I'm gonna take care of your Mom. You just go with your grandparents okay?"

He nods looking at his Mom with worry. "Promise?" he asks. He can tell she's not okay. He's been able to tell since the moment he was rescued. It was in the haunted terrified expression in his Mom's eyes and the way she hugged him. He knew something was wrong. He just hopes Emma can help.

Once they all leave Emma runs back over to Regina crouching down in front of her, "It's okay Regina. It's just you and me. You're safe now I promise. You're safe." She hopes her reassurances will work.

Tearful brown eyes look across to her, "The cannery" Regina chokes out in explanation and Emma sighs in realisation seeing where they've docked the boat. "Is it okay if I sit next to you?"

Regina nods letting Emma sit beside her. She inches closer to her needing the safety that she only finds with the saviour and their son.

"Why are you still here?"

"What?"

"Why haven't you just given up on me?" Regina asks. She doesn't understand it. Everyone else would. Or at least she thinks they would. It's what he said they would do.

"Because I care about you Regina. You matter to me. I'm not going anywhere okay?"

"Okay" Regina says quietly.

"Why would you think I would give up on you?" Emma asks.

Regina gulps wincing at the memory of his words. _They won't want you. None of them will want you anymore Regina. Why would they? _"He said once he was done that no-one would want me, that he would break me one way or another."

A chill runs down Emma's spine at the words and Regina's haunted tone. If Greg weren't already dead she would go out and kill him right now. "Regina" she says but Regina cuts her off.

"I think I'm ready to tell you what happened to me now."

Emma sits and listens to the whole story in horror. Once again she wishes more than anything that she had protected Regina better, that they had saved her before he attacked her, before he hurt her so badly. Tears run down her own cheeks as she hears how he assaulted Regina and how he taunted her. She doesn't know how Regina managed to carry on through Neverland. Emma's not sure she would have been able to.

Regina sobs and shakes through the story but today she leans close to Emma letting the blonde hold her. There's nothing threatening or scary about Emma's touch. She knows Emma would never hurt her. Part of knows how Emma feels about her. She feels the same way. She just doesn't know if she'll ever not be scared to tell her or to start a relationship again.

Right now she just needs Emma to be here.

Emma holds her wishing she knew what to say, wishing she had some way to make this better but she knows there are some things that you can't heal instantly. Some pain takes time, patience and support to heal. Emma knows if Regina will have her she'll be here to help her along the way.

"Regina I-" she trails off not sure what else to say.

"It's okay. Just be here please" Regina says.

"Okay I'm here."

"I don't know what to do" Regina admits quietly.

Emma nods, "I know. I wish I did but we'll figure it out okay? We're going to figure it all out. We're going to get you help and you, me and Henry we're going to get through this. No matter what I won't give up on you ever. I promise."

"Emma." Regina cuts herself off, she doesn't know how to tell Emma how much that means to her, "Thank you"

She lets herself be held that day. She lets herself feel safe in the only place she does. Admitting it brought all the pain to the surface again but she knows she needs to heal, maybe then the nightmares will get better. They won't stop, she knows that from experience, but she knows in time she might be able to cope, to move on.

With Emma beside her she knows she can. With Emma she feels safe.

She knows tomorrow she'll have to get help, probably see Archie and begin to work through what happened. She knows it will hurt. She knows it will bring back the past. She knows what lies ahead of her.

Right now she lets herself revel in the safety that Emma provides for her.

_Thanks for reading :) _


End file.
